Very That

dealbreaker:

GUESTREBUTTAL: You regret your life already

You’re the all-American, stereotypical man. In your opinion, nothing looks quite as great as a Lacoste polo and some Dockers khaki shorts. When you encounter people with body modifications, you simply see an attention-seeking pin cushion. At least I know the reasoning behind my actions; at least I understand the meaning of native culture and exotic tradition. The only traditions you have is running your father’s law firm. Oh, and visiting the Asian massage parlor on Tuesday evenings while your wife is at Bikram yoga (I guess that’s exotic). Sure, it might take a bit longer for me to find the love of my life and settle down, but I’ll know for sure that they support my life. You married your high school sweetheart out of pressure and the only thing you know for sure is that she supports your decision to buy her jewelry from Tiffany’s. You know, perhaps it’s even true that I inform others of the modifications I possess, but that’s only because they inquire about them first. Trust me, no one asks you to rage on and on about your “investments.”

Yes, I may regret this in my later years, but by then I’ll be so wrinkly and senile it won’t matter. Meanwhile, you’ll be long dead from a heart attack at age 54, resulting from a combination of buttery steaks from your local prime steakhouse and the facts that your Starbucks stock took a hard plunge south. Cheers!

A Guest Rebuttal to this Dealbreaker, written by Waiting on Revolution

fuckyeahrebuttal 

1 year ago

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    Snappitysnapsnap!

11. ashleighxisacult reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    fuckin’ right. anyone who lives an absurdly mundane...if far worse than someone

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17. minutiasink reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    major chip on her shoulder. Who writes a dealbreaker on a hypothetically married person? Wouldn’t that be

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21. hurricanetree reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    jocks/popular guys. And this

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    how I adore you.

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    GuestRebuttalREBUTTAL: Your “Transcendentalism” tumblr...called “Waiting

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    Tiffany’s? What am I,

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    fuckyeahrebuttal

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